Update

That last surprise fell through. The birthmom didn't show up for the meeting.
We are now open to African American. So, we will officially take any healthy baby that comes our way.

Call

We got a call today from our social worker. There is a birthmom in Chicago. She is on her way there right now, to meet with her tomorrow. The baby may be african american, and we had to say that we were open to it. Its a girl. We should know something by tomorrow afternoon.

I am a Chocolatier!

I joined this business last week and I finally got my kit yesterday. I have mountains of chocolate and I can't eat it. Anyway.... I have become an indepedent chocolatier, aka a consultant. The company is Dove Chocolate Discoveries. It is my newest attempt to raise money for our adoption. Chocolate and parties- now who doesn't love that. I even have me own business website: www.dove-chocolate-discoveries.com/bhuffman. Check it out and see the products (everything from brownie mix, sugar-free chocolate, and even chocolate martini mix) and if you live in my area host a chocolate tasting party with me.

update

We had a possible situation a couple weeks ago. Without going into to detail, lets just say that it didn't work out. How many possibilities will we go through before we have a winner?
I recently signed up to be an independant chocolaiter for Dove Chocolate Discoveries. I'm still waiting for my kit to arrive in the mail. I'm hoping to supplement our adoption funds. Also, we recently learned of a way to fundraise by selling shirts for adoptionbug.com. And, finally, we are considering applying for a grant and a no-interest adoption loan.
One more thing, I got a letter from our agency today saying that they were burglurized and some computers containing important personal imformation was taken. So, we may have our identity stolen. Nice, huh.

Embie Mom

check out this embie mom to be. Jess.

Waiting

This waiting business is much harder than I ever thought it would be. Basically it is slowly driving me crazy. Recently I described it to a friend like this: "its like taking off a band aid real slow". Its torturous. Its driven me into therapy. Seriously. I've had two sessions and going for my third tomorrow. I've even considered that I might want to give up. Yes, I very much want to be a mother. But, I'm not sure how much more I can take of this. Every time I hear of another couple being chosen its like a rejection of me. I do want to be happy for them. But, I can't get past my own feelings of sadness that it wasn't us chosen. I've been resorting to some childish stuff. "Its not fair", "Does God care", etc. In my mind I know better. Of course God cares. Life isn't fair. I should have faith and hope in God's perfect plan. Everyone is so good at reminding me too. The other part of me, the selfish sinner part, goes "THIS SUCKS!". Another unhealthy thing that has reared its ugly head is my insane need to make life stop. Its like, I just want to sit right here in this very uncomfortable, unhappy spot until my baby comes. Life must not go on. In fact, life can not begin until I hold him/her in my arms. I put myself (and my husband) in limbo. If you dare suggest that I move forward with anything, I will become irate. "Stop it! Leave me alone whilst I sit here and wait for life to happen!". I create a bubble of misery wherever I go. Why do I do this? I don't know, I guess its just how I deal with things. I'll let you know if my therapist is able to cure me of myself.

New picture and visit

We got new pictures taken. My good friend Heidi took them for us. The one above is the picture the agency chose to put in the book. So, this is now the picture that birthmom's will see. We also had a monitoring visit last month, where Nina came to our house. It was kind of like the home study except there were less questions and paperwork. We got some good news too. We are now 4th on the list. We've been waiting on the list for a year. Please pray that we won't be waiting much longer.