I have a special ringtone for our adoption specialist. So, when I hear that sound coming from our phone I get about as excited as that cat above. My heart begins to pound right out of my chest as I race to locate the cell phone. As I lift it to my ear to answer, my entire being is screaming, "THIS IS IT!". There has been two "this is it" calls, although they didn't pan out. Well, it never fails that I have the same reaction every time. She called today and I nearly peed my pants. Of course by the time I actually squeak out some sort of greeting I have to pretend to be as calm as if I had no idea who was on the other end. Today she wanted to tell me about the agency's new online profiles. They are putting our picture and letter online for birthmoms to look at before they even contact the agency. Many agencies have these. They've decided to only post the first 4 families on the list. I guess they are tired of having us on there :D [Alright people lets move it]
I was asked about our agency, so I'm going to talk about it. As you can see by the name, it is a local agency. Meaning they only serve people in Southern Illinois. However, we can work with birthmom's from northern Illinois and outside of the state. Many birthmom's come from St. Louis Mo. since their main office is in Belleville, IL (very near St. Louis). I like that our social worker pretty well knows us. We aren't just a file to her. She is good about returning my phone calls and emails. I also like that she is a mother herself. She is the same age as me and she seems to be very responsible and professional. I know many adoption specialists are very young. I think some agencies like them that way because they are more free to travel and be on call all the time.
All and all, I think we have been pretty happy with our agency. Picking an agency is a major decision in the adoption journey. I would say, do your homework and go with your instincts.
A hot button issue in adoption is networking. Networking is what they call it when you advertise yourself. Basically you tell anyone and everyone (by whatever means necessary) that you are adopting and you are eager for a placement. Our agency does some networking. We've had our social worker do it for us twice since we've been waiting. She sends our "dear birthmom" letter and picture to various doctor's offices and hospitals. That way the doctors have it available if they have a patient who is interested in adoption. When our agency first told me about this I really didn't think it would do much good. I thought it would be a waste of time. But, my husband said that we might as well go ahead and give it a try. We wanted to do everything that was available to us. Also, a part of networking is just talking to people. Telling everyone you know, and sometimes people you don't know, that you are adopting. Those things seem pretty much normal. Its those other ways that get people all bent out of shape. We were over a year into our waiting time and I was getting very restless. It was driving me crazy that I felt like I couldn't do anything to further our progress. I started researching other ways to do some networking on my own. I discovered that some people make up business cards with their picture and information and hand them out. Also, some people make fliers and post them on bulletin boards everywhere. I had a decision to make. Was I going to shamelessly advertise our need for a baby? The answer was a big fat YES. I was tired of waiting and doing nothing. It seems to me that there are so many woman having totally unwanted pregnancies and not even thinking about adoption. For example, our next door neighbor is 17 years old and expecting. I can just about guarantee you that she hasn't given adoption one little thought. Now, I have no intention of being the adoptive equivalent of an ambulance chaser. I am not following pregnant women around harassing them to give me their baby! I am not trying to persuade anyone into anything. I'm simply putting our information out there to anyone who might find it helpful. I made cards. I carry a few with me and put them up anytime I see a board and some thumb tacks. I also stick one in every bill we send out. Maybe that sounds weird, but I think it is a good way to get the cards out of state and you know that the person on the other end is always someone different. I did make up fliers but I never have used them. I don't know why, but I haven't. I understand if some people may think that this is strange or even wrong. People have a right to their opinion. But, I would venture to say that those people have no idea what it is like to wait for someone else to make you a mother. I was asked this week, "Have you advertised yourself". Absolutely! I've done everything I know to do for my part. Oh, and just so you know I only put our first names on our cards and all of the contact info is for our agency - none of our personal information. I am fully aware of the possible adoption scams out there. I trust that our agency is capable of weeding those things out.
Recently I realized that I guess I haven't said enough about how adoption actually works. Well, if you are lucky enough to be the woman shown above, then all you have to do is throw your name around and people start dropping their babies at your feet. But, for the rest of us it is not that simple. In fact, for most of us it is very complicated. Now, I'm really not trying to talk anyone out of adopting. I just want others to understand what it's like.
We got new pictures taken. My good friend Heidi took them for us. The one above is the picture the agency chose to put in the book. So, this is now the picture that birthmom's will see. We also had a monitoring visit last month, where Nina came to our house. It was kind of like the home study except there were less questions and paperwork. We got some good news too. We are now 4th on the list. We've been waiting on the list for a year. Please pray that we won't be waiting much longer.
