A hot button issue in adoption is networking. Networking is what they call it when you advertise yourself. Basically you tell anyone and everyone (by whatever means necessary) that you are adopting and you are eager for a placement. Our agency does some networking. We've had our social worker do it for us twice since we've been waiting. She sends our "dear birthmom" letter and picture to various doctor's offices and hospitals. That way the doctors have it available if they have a patient who is interested in adoption. When our agency first told me about this I really didn't think it would do much good. I thought it would be a waste of time. But, my husband said that we might as well go ahead and give it a try. We wanted to do everything that was available to us. Also, a part of networking is just talking to people. Telling everyone you know, and sometimes people you don't know, that you are adopting. Those things seem pretty much normal. Its those other ways that get people all bent out of shape. We were over a year into our waiting time and I was getting very restless. It was driving me crazy that I felt like I couldn't do anything to further our progress. I started researching other ways to do some networking on my own. I discovered that some people make up business cards with their picture and information and hand them out. Also, some people make fliers and post them on bulletin boards everywhere. I had a decision to make. Was I going to shamelessly advertise our need for a baby? The answer was a big fat YES. I was tired of waiting and doing nothing. It seems to me that there are so many woman having totally unwanted pregnancies and not even thinking about adoption. For example, our next door neighbor is 17 years old and expecting. I can just about guarantee you that she hasn't given adoption one little thought. Now, I have no intention of being the adoptive equivalent of an ambulance chaser. I am not following pregnant women around harassing them to give me their baby! I am not trying to persuade anyone into anything. I'm simply putting our information out there to anyone who might find it helpful. I made cards. I carry a few with me and put them up anytime I see a board and some thumb tacks. I also stick one in every bill we send out. Maybe that sounds weird, but I think it is a good way to get the cards out of state and you know that the person on the other end is always someone different. I did make up fliers but I never have used them. I don't know why, but I haven't. I understand if some people may think that this is strange or even wrong. People have a right to their opinion. But, I would venture to say that those people have no idea what it is like to wait for someone else to make you a mother. I was asked this week, "Have you advertised yourself". Absolutely! I've done everything I know to do for my part. Oh, and just so you know I only put our first names on our cards and all of the contact info is for our agency - none of our personal information. I am fully aware of the possible adoption scams out there. I trust that our agency is capable of weeding those things out.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Adoption How-To # 2
A hot button issue in adoption is networking. Networking is what they call it when you advertise yourself. Basically you tell anyone and everyone (by whatever means necessary) that you are adopting and you are eager for a placement. Our agency does some networking. We've had our social worker do it for us twice since we've been waiting. She sends our "dear birthmom" letter and picture to various doctor's offices and hospitals. That way the doctors have it available if they have a patient who is interested in adoption. When our agency first told me about this I really didn't think it would do much good. I thought it would be a waste of time. But, my husband said that we might as well go ahead and give it a try. We wanted to do everything that was available to us. Also, a part of networking is just talking to people. Telling everyone you know, and sometimes people you don't know, that you are adopting. Those things seem pretty much normal. Its those other ways that get people all bent out of shape. We were over a year into our waiting time and I was getting very restless. It was driving me crazy that I felt like I couldn't do anything to further our progress. I started researching other ways to do some networking on my own. I discovered that some people make up business cards with their picture and information and hand them out. Also, some people make fliers and post them on bulletin boards everywhere. I had a decision to make. Was I going to shamelessly advertise our need for a baby? The answer was a big fat YES. I was tired of waiting and doing nothing. It seems to me that there are so many woman having totally unwanted pregnancies and not even thinking about adoption. For example, our next door neighbor is 17 years old and expecting. I can just about guarantee you that she hasn't given adoption one little thought. Now, I have no intention of being the adoptive equivalent of an ambulance chaser. I am not following pregnant women around harassing them to give me their baby! I am not trying to persuade anyone into anything. I'm simply putting our information out there to anyone who might find it helpful. I made cards. I carry a few with me and put them up anytime I see a board and some thumb tacks. I also stick one in every bill we send out. Maybe that sounds weird, but I think it is a good way to get the cards out of state and you know that the person on the other end is always someone different. I did make up fliers but I never have used them. I don't know why, but I haven't. I understand if some people may think that this is strange or even wrong. People have a right to their opinion. But, I would venture to say that those people have no idea what it is like to wait for someone else to make you a mother. I was asked this week, "Have you advertised yourself". Absolutely! I've done everything I know to do for my part. Oh, and just so you know I only put our first names on our cards and all of the contact info is for our agency - none of our personal information. I am fully aware of the possible adoption scams out there. I trust that our agency is capable of weeding those things out.
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2 comments:
That's a great idea! I've seen several ads in the newspapers of people wanting to adopt. Praying your time is coming!
My husband and I have applied to domestically adopt (in Canada) and the province we live in doesn't even have an agency so it's all done through the government. It can be a slow and painful process, so we just recently wrote up a 2 page "plea" to let people know about our hope to adopt, along with information about us, and we are going to be sending it out to family, friends, churces etc. very soon. I felt so uncomfortable about the idea at first, but now I feel at peace about it, and that's what we're going to do!
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