At Long Last

I hope you'll forgive me for keeping you suspense.  After all I'm pretty busy now. 

At this moment miss Olive is resting against Nana's (my mom) chest.  She has been so spoiled this week.  Wow, she is a week old already.  That just doesn't seem possible.  A week ago today...

Around 11:00 a.m. on Wednesday the 5th I heard N's ringtone sound off from my phone.  I remember thinking, "What could she want?".  We had been on a break, so I didn't expect to be hearing from her much until the new year.  She said that there had been a baby girl born this morning.  I was sort of annoyed that she was calling.  Why is she telling me this stuff when we didn't want to be shown right now.  She said that all they knew right now was the baby was a girl, she was african american, and the birthmom wanted a family that didn't have children.  Which is why she called.  Since there are only a few families that are open to african american babies and have no children, she wanted to give the birthmom as many profiles as she could.  I told her that I would talk to hubby and call her back.  I figured he would say no.  We were still healing from BabyZ and Ella Grace.  To my surprise he didn't.  He said to tell N that we would like more information.  So, I did.  Around 2:00 p.m. N called again and said that baby was healthy.  Birthmom did not report any substance abuse or medical/mental problems.  I called hubby back and all of the sudden we were back in the game again.  I let N know that we did want to be shown.  Very shortly after she called and said that we had been picked.  She said that R (who was handling the case) had already shown us (forgetting about our break) and that Mama T (what I will be calling Olive's birthmom) picked us.  It was unbelievable!  We were chosen again.  But, my hubby was in Iowa!  He travels for his job.  At first I thought, well I will just have to go and do this on my own.  Thankfully, my mom agreed to go with me to see her.  On Thursday the 6th (also my 30th birthday) we meet N & R at the hospital @ 10:15 a.m.  They got us a small room (which ended up being our room to stay) and brought her to us.  I had to ask if they had brought us the right baby.  Her skin was so light.  She looked Caucasian.  The nurse assured me that she was the right one.  She said that she may get darker, or she may not.  In fact, she already has darkened slightly.  I just stood there.  I was scared to death to hold her.  I looked over at my mom and I knew that if I didn't she was going too.  After some awkwardness picking her up I held her.  She was beautiful.  So, so beautiful.  I felt content.  Not at all the way that I felt the first time I held BabyZ or Ella Grace.  R told us that Mama T had signed herself out of the hospital the night before.  R said that she had spent some time with Olive, but that she seemed sure about adoption.  Mama T did not want any contact, just pictures at the agency.  I'm hoping that will change.  It has always been my goal to have at least a semi open adoption.  My mom and I cared for Olive in the hospital that night.  At least for a while anyway before I utilized the convenience of the nursery down the hall.  Hubby finally arrived on Friday morning.  The daddy in him was already showing again.  Olive was perfect.  She ate like a horse.  She had regular wet and dirty diapers.  She burped easily and slept well.  After seeing such a sick baby in Ella Grace, it was a relief.  It is a blessing that I won't take for granted.  My mom got a hotel so that hubby and I could spend some time with her.  Surrenders were scheduled to be signed Saturday morning.  Caring for Olive bonded me to her during those 2 days.  The fact that Mama T could change her mind really didn't exist for me.  I didn't need her to sign to make Olive mine, she already was.  R came into our room around 10:30 a.m. and said she was ours.  Seconds later the tiny room was filled with people asking questions, giving us info, and shuffling papers.  It was funny because a nurse still had to wheel me out in a wheel chair even though I hadn't given birth.  Then we were on our way home.  We made a few stops so that we could share her with our families.   Our first night, my hubby got up with her and let me rest.  Being in the hospital had been exhausting.  We went to church on Sunday and showed her off.  She has had several visitors.  Now I am staying with my parents because hubby had to go back to work today.  I don't think that everything has totally set in with me yet.  But, I'm adjusting.  It's been a long road to get to Olive.  A long, hard road.  She was so worth everything.