We have a meeting with our social worker next Friday September 2nd. Or maybe I should say that I have a meeting with her. Hubby might not be able to go depending on where he is sent for work. It will be the first time that she and I have talked since the failed adoption (or as I like to call it "adoption loss"). I requested the meeting weeks ago. I thought it would help me feel like we were regrouping. I plan to talk to her about our expectations of our next match. Things are going to be a little different next time around. Our post placement openness will remain the same. But, now that I know what to expect during the pre-placement stage there is no way that I can be as open and trusting. We have to protect ourselves. With K we exchanged emails. I can't do that again. We can't stay at the hospital again. We plan to get a hotel room nearby and spend a lot of time with baby in the nursery until surrenders are signed. I can't share our baby names again. I think it would be a better idea for all of us to come up with a nickname for the baby until surrenders are signed. If birthmom has an issue with not naming the baby then we know we have a problem. We can't pay any of her expenses. We did that for K and we regret it big time. I can't go to doctors appointments. It's better to make up my mind about these things and let N know ahead of time that way everyone will be on the same page when the time comes. Also, I'm going to bring with me an updated version of our letter. I'm working on getting new pictures taken (as soon as the weather cools down) and one of those fancy photo books instead of just the album that we had before.
2 comments:
I think your plan sounds great. You definitely have to protect yourselves! Hope your meeting goes well!
(sigh) I'm so sorry you are having to figure these types of decisions out as you go.
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