On My Knees

This morning I was woke up by my phone, but it wasn't my alarm.  It was N's ringtone.  As sleepy as I was I could tell it was early, but the sun was up.  My first thought was, "All babies are born in the early morning".  I answered and N apologized for calling so early.  She is so polite, but really she could call me seriously any time at all.  The one person on the planet that I don't mind hearing from no matter what time it is.  She said that a baby girl had been born this morning.  She is premature, born at 34 weeks.  She weighs 4 lbs (and some ounces-I already forget what she said).  Birthmom is Caucasian.  Birthdad is unknown.  The more she talks the more excited I am.  Then she says that bmom admits to using heroin during the pregnancy and she had no prenatal care.  My heart immediately began to hurt.  I never blame the addicted.  We all have our vices.  It's the demon of addiction and this broken world that is at fault.  N wanted to know if we would be open to the situation.  If we would like to have our profile shown to the bmom.  In my heart, I heard "yes".  But, before I could answer she told me to talk to my hubby about it and let her know.  So, I hung up and woke him up.  He considered it carefully and asked what I thought.  I told him that I didn't know because I wanted his honest opinion rather than his desire to please me.  After several more minutes he said, "Yeah, lets do it".  I texted N back with a simple "yes".    We decided to go back to sleep to make sure we were good and rested.  We would stick close to home just in case we did get the call to go to the hospital.  At 12:30 I texted N for an update.  She said that they were still working with the bmom.  That was the last I heard.  It's 2:30 now.  I don't know how many couples were open to the situation.  My guess would be very few.  There have been a few other situations that involved hard drugs, and most of the other couples weren't up to it.  Including us.  Always before we said no.  My only explanation to our change of heart is our time with BabyZ.  Not that her situation involved drugs.  But, holding her and caring for her really changed us.  These "situations" are babies.  BabyZ didn't make us parents - but she did give us a whole new love for babies.  And an even stronger desire to care for one.

I'm praying that this baby girl does not test positive for heroin.  She should not have to suffer because of addiction.  I'm praying that she will be perfect and flourish.  I'm praying that her mother will get the help she needs.  That she will be able to do what is best for her child and herself.  I'm praying that it will all turn out for God's glory. 

This baby girl and her mother already have a place in my heart and I will continue to pray for them even if we aren't picked.